What does a sex addict look like? That was a question I asked myself many times as I faced up to the fact that many of the problems in my life were due to my dysfunctional and inappropriate use of sexual relationships. The one thing I knew was that I was desperately unhappy with my life. I was working hard and, publicly, a success but away from work I was risking everything on meaningless, squalid sexual encounters.
I longed for a meaningful relationship, but every relationship I had ended up in disaster and I just plunged myself into a world of sex, alcohol and drugs to try and escape. One day, waking up hungover and disgusted in a strange bed with yet another stranger I decided enough was enough.
It took a failed suicide attempt before I was finally offered a ray of hope when a doctor first talked to me about emotional disorders and explained that addiction to sex was a real thing.
I found the solution in the Phoenix programme, which gave me the opportunity to completely step outside of my life and look at it clearly and carefully, identifying the underlying issues behind my behaviour and giving me the tools to live a different kind of life.
Since leaving Phoenix I’ve been taking time out from any intimate relationships, focusing instead on myself. Finally, I feel ‘normal’ and, when I meet the right person, I’m looking forward to a sincere and loving relationship.